A New Chapter
by Spyder Webb
Summary: Kinda AU. Ryou Bakura once had a perfect life, but now it's turned into a disaster. Read his thoughts and his feelings in diary entries. It's done now. ^_^
1. Entry 113

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 113 - Date: April 27th, 1997 (Age: 10)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It happened again today. I was just walking into the schoolyard when Robert Lancaster and his group of friends surrounded me. They didn't even threaten me this time, just threw my books into the large fountain in front of the school and started to beat me up. Anthony, Robert's best friend was yelling really loudly and all five of them were laughing and that got the attention of everyone on the playground. It was still early so none of the teachers were out to supervise and it didn't take long for a crowd to gather around us.  
  
They cheered Robert and his friends on. I heard someone yell out 'Make him eat dirt' and a lot of them wanted to see blood. They saw it when Avery, he's Anthony's little brother, punched me in the nose.  
  
I looked up once at the crowd and I saw Jacob standing there glaring at me. He wasn't cheering like everyone else but I knew he was happy to see me hurt. I knew that it was because of him that I had been getting beaten up and I had lost all my friends. I think it's been about two months already, when he was still my best friend in the entire world.  
  
We were sitting in my basement watching a movie; he was staying the night like he usually did on a Saturday. I guess I had been acting weird, and he had asked me what was wrong. I didn't know how to explain it to him, so I did the best thing I could think of to get my problem across.  
  
I kissed him. I don't know why, I didn't find him attractive, or even cute.  
  
He pushed me away and I fell onto the coffee table. I didn't tell him, but the corner had stabbed me in the back and I had the scar to prove it. We sat in silence for a really long time until he finally just asked, "Are you gay?" I told him the truth. I told him that I was pretty sure about it and then I asked him if he was okay with it. He was the most important person to me and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.  
  
He swore to me that he was fine with it, and he even stayed the rest of the night. I called him Sunday to find that he was at his grandparents' for the day and that I'd see him Monday. Well, I saw him Monday at school but I never got to talk to him. It was obvious that he had told everyone that I had kissed him because when I met up with Felix, Sharon, Calvin and Jacob they all told me that they didn't want to be my friends anymore.  
  
I'm embarrassed to say that at first I thought they were joking. We had been friends since kindergarten, something as little as this couldn't ruin what we had, could it? So I tried to sit with them at lunchtime in the lunchroom. We were all in different classes and I didn't see them at recess because I helped the teacher out that day so I hadn't seen them all morning.  
  
As soon as I sat down at the table they all just stopped talking and stared at me. I think I had been smiling when I first sat down but it disappeared really quickly. We just stared at each other for a really long time before I got up again telling them that I was sorry for bothering them. I sat at an empty table beside them and I could hear them beginning to talk again, acting like nothing had happened.  
  
I went home as soon as I was done eating, which I had to force down anyway, because I knew that I couldn't go the rest of the day without crying. Those four had been the only ones I had aside from my father, and he is usually away. When I got home the house was empty because the nanny didn't get there until 3:30 when I'd get home from school. I just changed out of my school clothes and into my pajamas and went to bed.  
  
I never did tell my father what had happened when he came back from his trip to the United States. When he asked where my friends were I kept making excuses for them, they were always too busy to play with me, and Jacob was having family problems, that's why he couldn't come over on Saturday nights anymore. I thought he believed me because he never questioned me. And I had to find excuses for the bruises I was coming home with. I didn't know how to cover up a black eye very well and my father noticed it right away.  
  
I told him Jacob and I had been playing tag and I had tripped on the gravel that filled our playground and hit my head on the monkey bars. Or I had gotten hurt in gym class because I was such a klutz. I thought he believed me then too.  
  
Finally, he just stopped asking about everything and I figured he had forgotten it all. I found out later that he had called Jacob's parents to see if their family problems had been settled. They didn't know what he was talking about. He called the school and complained that I was getting hurt on the playground equipment. He happened to be talking to my teacher and she explained that I hadn't gone out for recess for a long time or that I hadn't been participating in gym class.  
  
He finally made me tell him what was happening and why I was lying to him. I've never lied to him before. I told him everything, even that I was gay. He seemed to know that part, and after he had held me until I had fallen asleep, having cried myself exhausted.  
  
I know I'm a crybaby, I cry over the stupidest things really. I know I do, but I can't help it. But today I was really proud of myself after Robert and his friends left me and the crowd went into the school when the bell rang.  
  
This time, I didn't cry.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	2. Entry 175

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 175 - Date: June 28th, 1997 (Age: 10)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's finally the last day of school. A time to celebrate, right? At the end of every year everyone in the school always gets a yearbook and on the last day of school the whole day is spent signing yearbooks. So the day was filled with noisy classrooms and a lot of food. We were able to bring treats.  
  
I've gotten wise over the passed few months; it hadn't taken long for me to realize that nobody liked me. So I sat in the back of the room while everyone ran around signing everybody else's yearbook. I had a large chapter book with me and I was about to finish it when Robert came up to me. He wanted to sign my yearbook. He said he wanted to apologize for beating me up and to wish me a happy summer.  
  
I handed him my yearbook. He took it to his desk and as I continued to read my book I noticed others signing it as well. I figured they didn't even know whose it was, or they thought it was Robert's. He's pretty popular. I didn't see the book until the end of the day when Robert handed it back to me. I didn't look at it until everyone had left.  
  
My picture had been drawn on; I had devil horns and a tail. And my name had been scratched out, so instead of 'Ryou Bakura', it read 'Girly Boy'. It turns out everyone in the class signed it and on the front cover is where they all did it, it continues to the back cover, here, I'll write down what everyone wrote. It might even be funny if I wasn't me.  
  
- - -  
  
"The Class's Ways to Commit Suicide and why we think Ryou Should"  
  
1. Smother yourself in honey and go find a hungry bear. I want you to die painfully! - Robert 2. Get cancer and die. That way I don't have to see you next year. - Sharon 3. Stand in the middle of the highway and get hit by a truck. I wanna see some blood! - Felix 4. Kiss the wrong boy and get aids and die. I don't wanna see you next year either. - Anthony 5. Drink poison. 6. Slit your wrists, the biggest vein you can find. 7. Get mauled by an angry dog. 8. Shoot yourself. 9. Drown yourself. 10. I hear electrocution is painful. All you have to do is take a blow drier into the bathtub with you when it's turned on. 11. I'd suggest starving yourself, but it looks like I'm too late. - Calvin 12. Coming near me will be committing suicide on it's own. - Jacob  
  
- - -  
  
I'm glad that there are only thirteen kids in the class, me being the unlucky thirteenth. Anyway, after I read that in school I packed up everything from my desk and locker and stuffed it all in my backpack. My father was waiting for me in the parking lot and he brought me home. I was numb to it all by now so it wasn't like I was crying or anything.  
  
Knowing about the yearbooks he wanted to see mine. So I showed it to him. He read over what everyone said and he saw my 'improved' picture. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say.  
  
So we drove home in silence.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	3. Entry 194

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 194 - Date: July 17th, 1997 (Age: 10, turning 11!)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, today's my birthday. I'm now officially 11-years old. When I was nine, I couldn't wait to be ten, and when I was ten, I couldn't wait to be eleven. Now, I don't really care. I think I couldn't wait because it meant that every year there would be a bigger party. Jacob and I were born on the same day so we'd always have a birthday party for the both of us, and the older we got the bigger the parties.  
  
I know Jacob's got a big party set up. His parents went all out this year. Dad and I were coming back from the store after buying a small birthday cake and we saw the giant circus tent that had been set up in his backyard. There was also a large trailer in the front of the house and a clown was leading a horse out of it as we passed.  
  
I didn't say anything and I was happy that Dad didn't either. When we got home I went up to my room and looked through my Duel Monsters deck. It was a game that had been created by an American named Pegasus J. Crawford. I hadn't dueled in a long time because my usual dueling opponent didn't come over Saturday nights anymore.  
  
I was looking at my favourite card, Change of Heart, when Dad called me for supper. We ate in silence, which now that I think about it, has become usual. There is always silence between us now. I don't talk to him like I used to, I can't. He doesn't understand me anymore. How can he when I don't understand me?  
  
Anyway, we ate supper and then I went back up to my room. I got an envelope ready with a letter and then I dropped a small pendant inside. Actually, it was half a pendant. Jacob had the other half. One year, for our birthdays, our friends had gotten us a necklace, but they had only had enough money for one. So we had split it, broken it in half and then we each took a different half, a promise that we'd forever be friends.  
  
Funny, isn't it.  
  
I got the letter ready and I left the house, telling Dad that I'd be back soon. I walked over to Jacob's and was putting the envelope in the mailbox when his mother opened the door. I looked at her. She had always been like a mother to me and she had always treated me like her own son. My mother had died of complications from childbirth and I had never met her. For as long as I can remember I've always called Jacob's mom 'Mom'.  
  
She looked down her nose at me and demanded to know what I wanted. She asked if I was here to ruin the biggest day of her son's life. I handed her the envelope and told her that this was my present to Jacob and then I left.  
  
When I got home my dad took me into the living room and he gave me a few presents since it was my birthday. I got a few books, which thrilled me because I was running out of reading material. Now that I had a lot of spare time on my hands and nothing to do, I had turned to books. They make it easy to forget reality for a little while.  
  
I also got new clothes too, which I'm happy for. Everything was getting a little too small, not tight because I was losing weight and not gaining any, but I was growing taller. Slightly. And the last present he gave me he called the Millennium Ring.  
  
He said that it was one of a kind and that it was said to be magical. He thought I was destined to have it. I liked it, it looked really old and it had some gold to it. I didn't care if it was some cheap thing he had picked up along his travels; it meant a lot to me. After the presents we had cake. He was about to sing 'Happy Birthday' but stopped when I asked him not to. He said 'Happy birthday Ryou' and then we ate cake.  
  
And now I'm sitting in my bed writing this down because for some reason, I can't let go of the past and I want to remember. The memory hurts, but I still want to remember.  
  
Oh yeah, and the note that I had written and gave to Jacob's mother. It had said:  
  
To Jacob, I'm giving this pendant back to you because I don't think you want me to have it anymore. Happy birthday. Sincerely, Ryou Bakura  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	4. Entry 195

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 175 - Date: June 28th, 1997 (Age: 10)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's finally the last day of school. A time to celebrate, right? At the end of every year everyone in the school always gets a yearbook and on the last day of school the whole day is spent signing yearbooks. So the day was filled with noisy classrooms and a lot of food. We were able to bring treats.  
  
I've gotten wise over the passed few months; it hadn't taken long for me to realize that nobody liked me. So I sat in the back of the room while everyone ran around signing everybody else's yearbook. I had a large chapter book with me and I was about to finish it when Robert came up to me. He wanted to sign my yearbook. He said he wanted to apologize for beating me up and to wish me a happy summer.  
  
I handed him my yearbook. He took it to his desk and as I continued to read my book I noticed others signing it as well. I figured they didn't even know whose it was, or they thought it was Robert's. He's pretty popular. I didn't see the book until the end of the day when Robert handed it back to me. I didn't look at it until everyone had left.  
  
My picture had been drawn on; I had devil horns and a tail. And my name had been scratched out, so instead of 'Ryou Bakura', it read 'Girly Boy'. It turns out everyone in the class signed it and on the front cover is where they all did it, it continues to the back cover, here, I'll write down what everyone wrote. It might even be funny if I wasn't me.  
  
- - -  
  
"The Class's Ways to Commit Suicide and why we think Ryou Should"  
  
1. Smother yourself in honey and go find a hungry bear. I want you to die painfully! - Robert 2. Get cancer and die. That way I don't have to see you next year. - Sharon 3. Stand in the middle of the highway and get hit by a truck. I wanna see some blood! - Felix 4. Kiss the wrong boy and get aids and die. I don't wanna see you next year either. - Anthony 5. Drink poison. 6. Slit your wrists, the biggest vein you can find. 7. Get mauled by an angry dog. 8. Shoot yourself. 9. Drown yourself. 10. I hear electrocution is painful. All you have to do is take a blow drier into the bathtub with you when it's turned on. 11. I'd suggest starving yourself, but it looks like I'm too late. - Calvin 12. Coming near me will be committing suicide on it's own. - Jacob  
  
- - -  
  
I'm glad that there are only thirteen kids in the class, me being the unlucky thirteenth. Anyway, after I read that in school I packed up everything from my desk and locker and stuffed it all in my backpack. My father was waiting for me in the parking lot and he brought me home. I was numb to it all by now so it wasn't like I was crying or anything.  
  
Knowing about the yearbooks he wanted to see mine. So I showed it to him. He read over what everyone said and he saw my 'improved' picture. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say.  
  
So we drove home in silence.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	5. Entry 199

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 199 - Date: September 21st, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I know I haven't been writing lately, but I was recovering out of the hospital and Dad wouldn't let me do anything except lay in bed. It was so boring, I thought I was going to go crazy. But it was okay when Dad started staying with me. I taught him how to play Duel Monsters and while we dueled, with twenty cards each (I had split my deck in half), we talked.  
  
He told me about how Mom and him had met through an exchange program. Mom had gone to Japan for a year and she had stayed with my father's family. They didn't get along at all at first and fought like real brother and sister. I found it funny and I think my father enjoyed remembering the good times he had had with Mom.  
  
At times we got into really serious conversations, my dad always says that I'm an adult trapped in an eleven-year olds body. How many eleven-year olds can be serious? Anyway, I asked him if he was ashamed of me, because of everything that had happened and because I was gay. He said:  
  
"You're my son, Ryou, and I love you no matter what choices you make in life."  
  
Hearing that made me feel good. I kinda got off track here, huh? I do that a lot, but besides my dad, you're kind of the only person I talk to. Funny, me acting like you're real. But whatever.  
  
Anyway, the other reason that I haven't been writing lately is because we've been packing. As soon as I was able to do things again we started to pack up everything in the house. Well, not everything, Dad had a garage sale of the stuff we didn't need anymore and it saved us a lot of room. He wants to leave as soon as possible so I don't get behind in school too much. I've been taking classes by mail though and I'm already finished my grade up until Christmas. I'm going to be put into a higher grade than I'm in now. I had to take a test to do this, but I passed with a 98%.  
  
Ah! Gotta go finish packing! We leave tomorrow!  
  
Japan and grade 8, here I come.  
  
- Ryou  
  
  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	6. Entry 200

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 200 - Date: September 23rd, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Domino City is small compared to London, though I was pretty sure it would be. It's nice though and I like it. Yesterday all we did was unpack things and we didn't even get to my bed until this afternoon, last night I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor, it was fun. I pretended that I was on a camping trip.  
  
Tomorrow's my first day of school and I can't wait to go! Everyone has been really friendly so far. Our neighbors came over this morning to introduce themselves, the Gardner's. They were very nice, they have a daughter my age, but she was with her friends at the time. I'll probably meet her tomorrow at school.  
  
I'm nervous too; my handwriting is really sloppy. I hope that it's different from what it was back home. I guess I'll have to wait to find out. I hate waiting though!  
  
I've been thinking about Jacob and what had happened and I came up with a few rules for me to follow here.  
  
Rule number one and the most important rule: Don't tell anyone I'm gay.  
  
That was obvious though, it's not like I was going to run down the street with a flag that said 'I'm Gay' on it. Right now I'm not sure if I even want to draw attention to myself, I haven't really talked to anyone for a really long time. I don't think I'd know what to say if someone actually said hello to me right now.  
  
Rule two: Don't tell anyone about what happened back in London.  
  
If someone found out that I didn't have any friends back home they might ask why, and then that would be breaking rule number one. If someone actually cared to ask I mean. I don't want to think badly, but what if it's just like London here? I don't want to move again, but I want.a friend. That's not selfish right? I mean, everyone wants someone they can trust and talk to. Can't I have one too?  
  
I don't like being alone.  
  
Dad always told me that I was a natural people person, whatever that means. Even when I was little I wanted to be everyone's friend. This included the people he worked with when he'd take me with him on his trips. Maybe I shouldn't just say people, also the animals and the artifacts, like the mummies and sarcophagus' they'd find. Dad said that he once found me talking to a beetle.  
  
Ah, the horror stories my father could tell. I would be horrified beyond belief if he ever told anyone any of the stories he's been storing up. I was a weird child; we'll put it that way. He said that I looked for the good in everything and that sometimes got me into some weird situations. Like the time Jacob and me locked ourselves in the shed in his backyard for the entire day. I was the only calm one before we got out, but it was my fault we'd been locked in.  
  
He has a picture of me after I was chasing a butterfly when I was like three. I had run under the deck in our backyard and had been chased back out by a bunch of butterflies. I fell in the grass and they all just landed on me, I was covered with them! Dad took a picture of it and it's in the album. We later found out that I had pollen stuck to my shirt, hair and shorts, which is what attracted them.  
  
Too bad there's no one to hear these stories.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	7. Entry 201

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 201 - Date: September 24th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, today was my first day of school. I was excited when I first entered Domino Elementary, but that all changed when I went to the principal's office. Back in London we were taught to spell principal by remembering 'he's your pal'. This principal doesn't like me. I walked right into a staff meeting.  
  
Then I had to wait an hour until it was over and all the teachers gave me nasty looks as they passed me. The principal gave me the room number of my classroom and directed me in which way to go. He could have been more specific but I probably would have been pushing my luck.  
  
I found the classroom sooner than I thought I would though, (The building is huge). But I interrupted a student's presentation. And neither the student, nor the rest of the class looked very impressed by this action. The student caught my attention though. He was obviously older than I was, since I'd been skipped up, but his hair was amazing. It was mostly black with red tips and he had blonde bangs. Also there was blonde streaks going up the black.  
  
He wore a lot of leather. A sleeveless black leather shirt and tight black leather pants. He had two belts around his waist and he was wearing boots with a lot of buckles. Actually, he was wearing a lot of buckles everywhere. He even had a collar with spikes around his neck.  
  
But it was his eyes that startled me, they were blood red. And I almost couldn't stop staring at them.  
  
The teacher told him to continue, she said his name was Yami Motou.  
  
This is important information I'm giving you too. When Yami was finished the teacher, I can't pronounce her name at all, so she let's me call her Ms. J, introduced me to the class. Well, okay, all she said was 'Class, we have a new student, please introduce yourself.'  
  
I said 'My name is Ryou Bakura and I'm from England.'  
  
Yami snorted and said something like 'As if the accent didn't give that away.' And the whole class laughed.  
  
I said I was finished, not wanting to make a bigger fool of myself and Ms. J pointed to the only empty desk in the room. Middle; front row and right beside Yami. I can tell that this year isn't going to be good.  
  
Anyway, by lunchtime I had acquired a new name too. I don't think anyone even remembered my real name, now they all called me 'England'. Yami started it and everyone just followed. I think he's the most popular boy in school and he knows it. He also knows how good he looks.I know too.  
  
I sat down at a table by myself and was about to start eating when Yami called over from his table. There were a lot of people sitting with him. The smallest boy looked exactly like him, only shorter and he has purple eyes, not red. I'm figuring he's Yami's brother. Another boy had blonde hair and he was wearing a green jacket, I really didn't pay much attention to him. Another boy was wearing a trench coat and he had pointed hair.  
  
There were three girls, one had blonde hair and she was hardly wearing clothes. There was a girl with brown hair and she was sitting particularly close to Yami. And the last girl had long black hair and she wore Egyptian clothing as well as jewelry. I've seen other people wear similar things when my father took me to Egypt.  
  
There were two other boys too. One was blonde but he was really dark, I think he's Egyptian too because of the jewelry and the markings he had on his face and back. He was wearing a sleeveless belly shirt and I saw a few of the markings. And then the last boy had been working on a laptop, that is until Yami called out to me.  
  
Yami yelled 'Hey England! When is it time for tea and biscuits?' and the entire room burst with laughter.  
  
Something tells me that he doesn't like me.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	8. Entry 202

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 202 - Date: September 25th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today was a little different. I've missed about a month of school from the move, but Ms. J was just beginning to give out a few assignments that should have been handed out at the beginning. She had lost them and had now just found them, so she handed them out. The first assignment was easy, we had to write a full-page story about ourselves. She said it was private and that anything written on the paper was for her eyes only and that she'd burn them at home once she read through them.  
  
Seeing as how it was private I broke one of my rules. I said that I didn't have any friends back home and that my father was hoping that this move would change that. I actually told her about the first day here and about what had happened and been said throughout the day and how I felt about it.  
  
I was on the next assignment when she looked up from a paper on her desk. She asked me if I was supposed to be in this class. I was confused, but then remembered that I had written my age down. I told her that this was the class the principal had told me to come to and had even showed her my schedule. But it still didn't convince her. She left the room for a few minutes and that's when it happened.  
  
I have a few of Yami's friends, you know, the one's that had been sitting with him yesterday in my class. One of them is Seto Kaiba, he was the boy on the laptop, another is Isis Ishtar, and she is Seto's girlfriend. She is the one that I think is Egyptian. Another one in the class is Mai Valentine, you remember, the girl with practically no clothes on? Yeah, and then there's Tristan Taylor, he was the one in the trench coat.  
  
Well, Tristan went up to the teacher's desk and read my work aloud to the class. Everyone was laughing, but I noticed that Yami didn't do anything and that kind of surprised me. He just sat staring at Tristan from his desk, he was totally passive. I can remember some of what I wrote so I'll write it down. . .you'll get the idea anyway.  
  
'My name is Ryou Bakura and I am eleven years old and until recently I have lived in London, England since I was born. My mother died from childbirth complications and I don't remember her at all, only stories and pictures my dad has. My father is an archaeologist and I've been to Egypt lots of times with him. He was originally born in Domino City and thought that it would be nice to move back here. It wasn't very hard leaving London since I didn't have any friends to hold me back. I guess I'm still a target for bullies.  
  
My father was hoping that the move here would be different from before, but it's exactly the same. I haven't even spoken to anyone and they all make fun of me. It all started with this one boy, but for his sake, I won't say his name. I don't think anybody knows who I am since the only name anybody knows me by is 'England', this is excluding the teachers of course. It hurts to know I'll never be accepted.'  
  
I said this before, but everyone laughed at me and I can't understand why. When Tristan had finished my paper he laughed along with everyone else, and finally Seto Kaiba looked at me and asked if I was really only eleven. I nodded and they began to laugh again. If I hadn't been used to being laughed at from living in London I probably would have started to cry, but I didn't.  
  
Ms. J had come back and had caught Tristan, and she had given him a detention. Then she had told me that the principal would be away for a few days and that tomorrow I have to go back to grade six.  
  
In a way I feel a little better, I mean, I'll be around people my age. Maybe it'll be easier and maybe I'll find someone I can talk to.  
  
Though right now I doubt it.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	9. Entry 203

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 203 - Date: September 26th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, grade six isn't any better, though it isn't worse. It did seem pretty bad though, but that's probably because I had a nightmare last night. I've been having them more frequently now, ever since I was attacked and put in the hospital, and then not having any friends here isn't really helping.  
  
I crawled in with Dad like I usually do and he held me until I could fall asleep again, which was nice. I know I'm eleven, but I really don't like to be scared. It's funny though because I don't even remember the dream now.  
  
Anyway, I went to sixth grade today and met Mr. Yuy, the teacher for the class I was put in. He was nice, though a little gruff, but I like him. He kind of reminds me of my father. I was placed at the back of the class and all the desks were double, so it was obvious I was sharing with someone. I just hoped it wasn't someone mean, with my luck they were going to be just like Yami.  
  
The bell rang and I waited quietly for the rest of the class to enter. Soon the door opened and everyone came in. They were so noisy! I recognized the blonde haired boy in the green jacket from the day before and the boy that looked exactly like Yami. Also the last girl that was at the table was with them too and to my slight horror they had the tables around mine, but luckily none of them sat beside me.  
  
The blonde boy and the Yami-look-alike sat in front of me and the girl sat in the table beside them, furthest away from me. The two were talking about Duel Monsters and the blonde wanted to show the other boy the new cards he got. I sat and pretended to read my book until the bell rang, then Mr. Yuy did the attendance.  
  
From that I learned that the Yami-look-alike was Yugi Motou, I'm guessing Yami's little brother. The blonde boy was Joey Wheeler and the girl was Tea Gardner, my neighbor.  
  
About fifteen minutes into class the door opened and that other boy from the day before stepped in, the Egyptian boy with the markings on his back, he bent over panting and the entire class laughed at him. He just stood up and smirked and then told the teacher this outrageous lie about why he was late. Mr. Yuy told him to save his creativity until writing class and then told him to sit down. He had called him Malik Ishtar, obviously Isis' little brother. And he sat right beside me.  
  
The first period was math and I was finished the assignment long before anyone else. I guess having no life and just studying was paying off. I read my book again, waiting until the end of the period. It was the book my father had given me for my birthday. I had read up to about chapter ten before the attack and then had started over again because I couldn't remember a thing about it.  
  
I had just turned the page to chapter eleven when the period ended and we had to move on to a different subject. English. Wow.  
  
It wasn't hard; I'll put it that way. All we really had to do was fix the sentence structure of given sentences and place the right punctuation in the right places. I guess I have the advantage since it's my first language but everyone there spoke really good English. I feel kinda stupid; we're living in Japan and all I know how to say is 'good morning' and 'good bye'.  
  
Anyway, after English we had a free period. Yugi and Joey began to duel and Tea and Malik watched them. It was obvious that Yugi was more experienced than Joey by the way they talked and joked around with each other. I was again pretending to read because I couldn't concentrate, then I heard their voices hush.  
  
*  
  
Malik was the first to say something. I think I remember the conversation, here:  
  
Malik - Why's he here? I thought he was in the class with my sister.  
  
Yugi - Yami said that the teacher found out that he's only eleven, so she sent him back to sixth grade.  
  
Joey - (laughing) Yeah, Tristan told me about what happened in the class, I wish I could have been there. Apparently whatever he wrote to the teacher was hilarious.  
  
Tea - That's what Mai said.  
  
Yugi - Yami says that he didn't have any friends in England and that his mother's dead.  
  
Malik - Isis told me the same. Except she mentioned that he has been to Egypt.  
  
Joey - Kaiba called him a fag. I mean, look at him, he does kinda. . .you know.  
  
Malik - Joey, Kaiba calls everyone a fag. He calls us fags.  
  
Joey - Yeah well, you at least dress the part.  
  
Malik - If we weren't in school I'd beat you with the Millennium Rod.  
  
Joey - There you go with the pickup lines again. I don't want to see your Rod.  
  
*  
  
Hearing 'Millennium Rod' had sparked my attention and I remembered the ring that I was wearing around my neck, wondering if it had anything to do with it. I also found out Yugi had something called the Millennium Puzzle and Isis had something called the Millennium Tauk. I think that's how you spell it, I'll have to check with Dad. He would probably know something about it.  
  
Well, that was the events of the day. There was lunch too, but nothing much new happened then, or in the afternoon. All except that Yami never said a word today.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	10. Entry 248

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 248 - Date: October 31st, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, it's finally Halloween. I used to love Halloween in London. Jacob and I would always dress up and we'd go out together with Sharon, Calvin and Felix. I'm staying home this year and handing out candy. It's not so bad, I get to wear this really cool costume. It's of the Change of Heart, there were a lot of them at the store and Dad knows how much I love the card so he got me the costume. Dad also went all out this year and decorated the house so it looks really spooky.  
  
I was hoping that it would have just been me and him so we could maybe talk, he has been busy lately with work and everything and we were going to have company over. Mainly a woman I can't stand because she pinches my cheek too hard and she never shuts up and a man who's more timid than I am. Anyway, I have to go, the doorbell's ringing and kids are yelling trick or treat.  
  
***  
  
It's after ten now and we're all out of candy. After the first batch of kids they wouldn't stop coming! Anyway, something kind of interesting happened tonight.  
  
One of the times that I had opened the door I found a Blue Eyes White Dragon, a Kuriboh, Magician of Faith, Cyber Commander, Flame Swordsman, the Electric Lizard, Harpy Lady, D. Human, Mystical Sand, Celtic Guardian and the Dark Magician at the door. I didn't really look at their faces so I didn't know who they were until the Celtic Guardian spoke up.  
  
'Haven't seen you in school lately England, how's grade six?' It was Yami and I looked at all of them to find his friends as well. You know that I'm still in sixth grade, I think I'm going to be moving back to eighth grade soon, the principal is still trying to figure everything out. I don't see what the problem is, except he doesn't like me of course.  
  
Anyway, Kaiba was the Blue Eyes, the Kuriboh was introduced as Kaiba's little brother Mokuba (He introduced himself). The Magician of Faith was Tea, the Cyber Commander Tristan and the Flame Swordsman was Joey. Kaiba had said something about the 'Flaming Swordsman' but I hadn't been paying attention. The Electric Lizard was a little girl and she introduced herself as Serenity, Joey's little sister. Harpy Lady was Mai, D. Human was Malik, Mystical Sand was Isis, the Dark Magician Yugi and of course that left Yami to be the Celtic Guardian.  
  
Serenity said that she liked my costume and that she really liked the Change of Heart too. She wanted to say more but Joey grabbed her and they left. All but Yami, which was really weird. He just looked back at me and asked me why I hadn't gone out. I told him 'No one to go with' and shut the door.  
  
Well, that was my day. Except for the fact that in between doorbells I got pinched and poked at by Mrs. Elderwood, the woman my father works with. She kept saying how cute I looked in my costume.  
  
Have I mentioned that I hate being called cute?  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	11. Entry 269

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 269 - Date: November 16th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It snowed today. Well, last night or early this morning. Either way I had to be driven to school or else I would have been late. Dad didn't mind, he didn't want me to get sick. He's been real protective of me ever since I got out of the hospital back in London. He knows things aren't going too well here, but he doesn't make me talk to him about it.  
  
I'm happy about that, I mean every parent has a dream life that they want for their child and I know this isn't what my father wanted for me. How would I tell him that his son is a loner that nobody likes?  
  
Anyway, today Mr. Yuy talked to us about 'Secret Santa's'. Five or six of the classes were going to participate in this yearly ritual. We'd all draw names and who's ever name we get we were to put presents into or onto their desks. Unless of course that someone didn't celebrate or that the person couldn't buy anything for personal reasons. They didn't have to be big; Mr. Yuy made sure that we understood this. They could just be a card or something like that, but to try to use our imaginations.  
  
They're secret so nobody will find out until the last day of school when everyone meets up in the gym to see whom their Secret Santa is. I think it's a kinda cool idea, we didn't have it back in my old school. But we did have Candy Cane presents. Every recess a candy cane could be bought for about 25 cents and then given to a person in another class or the same class with a small name take saying who it was to and who it was from, of course you didn't have to put who it was from if you didn't want to.  
  
Like I said, I like the idea, though I'm not expecting to get anything from whoever draws my name. Nobody in my class got it, I only know this because none of the grade six's were begging to trade with someone else. All the name's of everyone had been cut up and placed in a bucket and the other classes had come into our class so we could all draw names (Yami's class happened to be one of them). It wasn't just restricted to the classrooms alone.  
  
It took a long time but everyone drew a name. I accidentally saw that Malik had drawn Yugi's name and Joey had drawn Tristan's. Really, I hadn't meant to see it. Come to think of it, I still haven't looked at the name I drew, I just drew and sat back down, then got caught up in my book again. I should look. Just a second.  
  
. . .  
  
Oh god, you're never going to believe it. Nothing's going right for me. The one person I didn't want to draw and I did.  
  
Yami Motou.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	12. Entry 272

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 272 - Date: November 19th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I'm stuck. I don't know what to get Yami at all. I've been pondering about it for two days and I can't think of a single thing! It would help if I knew him, or at least something about him. Well, actually, I know a few things about him.  
  
He's really over protective of Yugi and he likes Duel Monsters.  
  
I'd buy him a pack of Duel Monster cards, but his grandfather works in a shop. I found this out when my father decided to introduce me to a friend of his father's. Sugoroku Motou. Yeah, you heard right, Motou. Yami and Yugi's grandfather.  
  
He was nice. He offered to take care of me whenever my father was away on his excavations. Mr. Motou used to be an archaeologist too, but then retired and now owns the Turtle Game Shop. Yami and Yugi live in a house that's behind the game shop, but they were with their friends when I was there. I was kinda happy about that. I heard my father speak something like he was 'sorry for the lose of your daughter and her husband'.  
  
I guess both their parents died, maybe that was why Yami wasn't laughing with everyone else when Tristan read my essay out loud to the class. But, who knows?  
  
Anyway, I got off track again. Yami lives in a game shop that is practically just Duel Monsters, so there's nothing I can get him like that. Guess I'll have to think about it some more, I have until tomorrow to get him something though, then I have to put it on his desk Friday.  
  
It snowed again last night, there's so much snow that it was hard to get through. The car was completely covered and Dad had to shoved it all away, I offered to help, but he said I was too little.  
  
After a normal day of school my father told me to go outside and play in the snow. I humoured him and went outside. It had gotten a little warmer and now the snow was sticky, it was perfect for making a snowman or something.  
  
My plan had been to sit out in the backyard for a while because I didn't really feel like doing anything, and I didn't want to hurt my father's feelings some how. But I started to build a Quincy out of the snow. To build a Quincy you pile up a bunch of snow and once it has set for a while; you hallow it out so you can fit inside. It's surprisingly warm in it and I spent most of the night in there. I had a flashlight and my book.  
  
My hands are a little numb even now, after a long hot bath but I'm getting over it. I think tomorrow I'm going to build a door to it while I'm trying to think of something to get for Yami.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	13. Entry 273

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 273 - Date: November 20th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I know what I can get Yami! Today I was listening to him and his friends talk today, they were talking about a bunch of stuff, but then Kaiba said something about how Yami was obsessed with Egypt. I'm obsessed too, so I got a bunch of different ideas.  
  
I know it's cheap, but I bought a blank card, the inside was what was blank and then on the front it had a picture of a desert with a pyramid. On the inside I wrote in Egyptian Hieroglyphics, I know the language from my father.  
  
What I wrote was:  
  
To Yami Motou, May your Christmas be pleasant and safe. Your Secret Santa  
  
I'm curious to know if he can actually read it. Who knows, here's what it looks like in Hieroglyphics.  
  
[Sorry, you have to go to the link: http://www.geocities.com/spyderswebb04/images/writings/achapteregypt.jpg]  
  
Think he'll like it?  
  
I've got an idea for the next gift for next week too.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	14. Entry 274

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 274 - Date: November 21st, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I almost got caught! I was in my old classroom and was just setting my present on Yami's desk when everyone began to walk into the classroom. Luckily Ms. J saved me by saying 'I'm glad you could help me, now I'll show you what I want you to do.' Then she took me outside of the room and told me to go back to my class and to be more careful next time.  
  
I actually laughed. I haven't laughed for so long and if felt so good. I was still in a good mood when I got home from school and Dad said that he had forgotten what my laugh sounded like. I have to admit though, I don't laugh, I giggle. Just another thing I was made fun of back in England.  
  
I know I shouldn't dwell on the past so much, but they meant so much to me. And because of one little kiss my life was turned into Hell on Earth.  
  
Sorry, I'm not going to talk about that anymore. I've got a new life, kinda so I'm going to try to make the best of it.  
  
Dad keeps asking me what I want for Christmas. I haven't actually thought about it. We've been so busy, the both of us, Dad with work, me with school. I don't know what I want. I doubt he could change things, but I wouldn't ask him about that at all.  
  
Hmm.oh, today in Mr. Yuy's class everybody had presents that they opened. It was so cool! Everybody got a present and they were like five-year olds on Christmas Eve. I saw that Yugi had gotten this really cute looking Dark Magician figurine. From Halloween I've figured that the Dark Magician is his favourite. Malik was his secret Santa, so I thought that was cool. Since he was sitting beside me I saw the smile on Malik's face.  
  
Speaking of which, Malik had gotten a hundred dollars. He snickered and I heard him say something to Yugi and Joey that Seto Kaiba was still trying to get on his good side for going out with his sister.  
  
Joey got a Red Eyes Black Dragon plushie which I thought was adorable. Tea got a plushie too, and it looked like Shining Friendship, but I'm not too sure. She was happy, nonetheless.  
  
Mr. Yuy let everyone show off their gifts to everyone else before starting the lesson. While I was reading my book I saw the pity in his eyes when he looked at me. I was the only one in the class that hadn't gotten a gift.  
  
I wanted to tell him that I hadn't expected to get anything to begin with, but I didn't.  
  
Up until lunch all I could do was wonder what Yami had thought of his gift. I know it wasn't much, but it was kind of last minute. But when I sat down at lunchtime he was all smiles and everyone wanted to know why. He showed them the card after everyone else had shown off their gifts. Nobody except Isis and Malik could understand what it said (besides Yami of course) so Malik read it out loud to everyone. Joey wanted to see it, but Yami wouldn't let him touch it.  
  
He really liked it!  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	15. Entry 295

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 295 - Date: December 5th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Dad just told me the worst news possible. He was called to go on a dig in Egypt during the holidays and he can't take me because I still have school. We always spend Christmas together! It's not fair! I told him that I didn't want him to go and he said that I need to grow up. I'm eleven years old now and I shouldn't be attached to him like an infant. Those were his exact words. Tomorrow he's leaving me with Mr. Motou.  
  
Great.  
  
Some Christmas this is going to be. The only good thing going is that Yami really likes the Secret Santa gifts he's been getting.  
  
The one I gave him last week was a book on ancient Egyptian mummies. I've seen him reading through it, and he was really into it. And the one I'm giving him this week is an artifact that my father said I could give him. It was dug up from the tomb of a pharaoh that had once ruled Egypt.  
  
I haven't gotten anything at all, but that's okay. It's better to give than to receive right?  
  
Right.  
  
Maybe for an adult.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	16. Entry 296

To whoever told me that the last chapter was a lame way to finish the story IT WASN'T THE END OF THE FREAKING STORY!!  
  
^_^ Thank you.  
  
  
  
Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and sorry, but I changed Joey/Tristan, so they are no longer together because of an unhappy fan *rolls eyes* Whatever, so when this story is finished there will be an alternate one on my page where Tristan and Joey ARE together because I like 'em that way.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 296 - Date: December 6th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, I was dropped off at Yami's today. It's a Saturday and Dad had to catch his flight. He was running late as it was so he left in a hurry. Mr. Motou, who insists I call him Grandpa (because all of Yugi's friends do), helped me move into the guestroom. I didn't say anything about not being one of Yugi's friends. I will be here until February I think, depending on how important this dig becomes.  
  
I said that I was sorry to be intruding on their lives and that I'd try to stay out of the way as much as possible. Mr. Motou told me that I was now apart of their family, so I should make myself at home. I said thank you, but we both know that I won't. It feels funny and I miss my dad already and it hasn't even been a day yet.  
  
Maybe he was right. I am attached to him like an infant.  
  
Sorry, I'm getting depressed again and you're the only one I can talk to. The only other person I have to talk to is on a flight to Cairo, Egypt some million odd miles away from me. And he doesn't want his infant son to run up Mr. Motou's phone bill by calling out to Egypt just to talk about his problems. (Did I just refer to you as a person?)  
  
I know I'm being selfish, but I don't want to be alone anymore! I want someone who I can count on any time that I need them. You'd figure that a father would be that person, but no, not for Ryou Bakura. He doesn't have anyone. It's like there's this rule written somewhere that I don't know about that states 'Ryou Bakura can not have any friends or family. He is to forever be alone and uncared for.'  
  
IT'S NOT FAIR!!  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans. 


	17. Entry 310

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 310 - Date: December 17th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I got caught today. Since I've been here I've tried my hardest to avoid both Yugi and Yami when they're home and when their friends are over I stay in my room and be as quiet as I can, which can surprisingly be very quiet.  
  
But I got sick a few days ago and haven't been able to go to school. This morning I was finally better, but I was running a little late. While I was putting Yami's present in my bag, guess who just happened to walk into the room to make sure I was awake.  
  
You guessed right. Yami.  
  
He saw the Egyptian artifact (Yes, another one) and figured everything out. He was like 'You're my Secret Santa! Oh Ra!' then he left the room. I was high on cough syrup and other forms of medication and I almost giggled at the fact that he was so obsessed with Egypt that he believed in 'Ra' the sun god. The part I didn't miss was the disgusted sneer that came out of the sentence.  
  
So I decided not to give him the present after all. Instead after school I placed the object on the table in the kitchen with a note that said, "To Yami, if you want it you can have it. I'm sorry I wasn't who you were expecting."  
  
He had probably been hoping that Tea had ended up being his Secret Santa, the way she hung all over him all the time, I figured that they were going out. Guess I had just ruined his day. But whatever, nothing usually goes right for me right?  
  
I've got a lot of homework from the days I missed so I've gotta catch up. Two more days of school and then we're on holidays. Yay. Oh, tomorrow we find out who our Secret Santa's are. Double yay.  
  
Can you tell just how excited I am?  
  
You're right. Sarcasm doesn't work as well when it's just being written down.  
  
- Ryou  
  
  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans.  
  
Oh yeah, and if you wanna know when the fics on my site are updated (just in case something happens with THIS site again) There's an updating mailing list! Warning: it's for like, three or four sites though. . .all Yu Gi Oh though. ^_^ 


	18. Entry 311

Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 311 - Date: December 18th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, let's see. . .where should I start? Okay, the first thing this morning at school all the classes that were participating in the 'Secret Santa's' were called into our classroom. It was the biggest so it made the most sense I guess.  
  
Anyway, Mr. Yuy started to call out names of students and they had to go up to the front of the class and their Secret Santa had to reveal themselves. Then the people who had just revealed themselves would stay and their Secret Santa would show themselves and so on. And because so many people would be in a line because of how they had pulled the names, when that line ended, Mr. Yuy would call another name.  
  
Anyway, after a lot of people had been called Yugi was called up and his Secret Santa Malik stood up, who's Secret Santa was Kaiba. Kaiba's Secret Santa was Tea. Tea's was Mai, Mai's was Joey, Joey's was Tristan, Tristan's was Isis and Isis had Yugi as her Secret Santa. That had been the end of that line. After a lot more people Yami's name was called and he stood at the front of the class, and slowly I stood up and stood beside him.  
  
When nobody stepped forward as my Secret Santa Mr. Yuy cleared his throat when some people began to snicker. He said 'Will Ryou's Secret Santa please show themselves?' And then a VERY surprising voice said from beside me 'I'm already up here.'  
  
Yami Motou was my Secret Santa.  
  
I just stared at him and I felt like laughing or crying. Laughing because it was ironic, and crying because well, I don't want to sound greedy, but not getting anything when everyone else did hurt. I mean, even a note that had said 'Merry Christmas' would have been great. Anyway, I wasn't able to do either though because one of the other students mentioned about 'getting on with it' and Yami and I sat down.  
  
I was really embarrassed and I just sat down at the desk I shared with Malik unable to look up. Everyone knew that I had never gotten anything and I didn't even have to guess why not. Yami had hated me since the moment I had walked into the school so it was really no surprise. And having me live with him? I doubt that helped.  
  
I had expected no less though so I don't think it hurt as much as it should have. I'm not making any sense am I? I didn't think so. I'm just really tired. I'm tired of everything. I'm beginning to think that the span of human existence would be better off without me. It's not like anyone would miss me.  
  
Sorry! My tears are smearing the ink on the page. This is so stupid! I'm trying not to cry but I can't help it. I don't want to be alone anymore; I want to be able to trust someone. What did I do? Is it because I'm gay? I know it started that way, but has all of this happened just because I like other guys? I figure most people would be happy, at least I couldn't procreate right? Everyone probably thinks that one of me is more than enough already. But none of the people here KNOW whom I prefer!  
  
Maybe Joey's right, maybe I am obvious. I probably have 'Faggot' written on my forehead.  
  
Great. Yami and Yugi's friends are over and I sobbed out loud. Kaiba told me to 'Shut the f**k up' or he'd come up here and give me a reason to cry. I think I'm going to go to bed, at least then I won't be able to feel anything for a while.  
  
Goodnight.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans.  
  
Oh yeah, and if you wanna know when the fics on my site are updated (just in case something happens with THIS site again) There's an updating mailing list! Warning: it's for like, three or four sites though. . .all Yu Gi Oh though. ^_^ (You gotta go to the site though ^_^) 


	19. Entry 312

About the short chapters, the story is already done so I can't exactly make the chapters longer, okay?  
  
Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 312 - Date: December 19th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Yahoo, it's the last day of school. Everything has become a routine. Life is pretty pathetic when you rate how good the day was by how much mental pain you've gone through. Today was better than yesterday.  
  
Nobody talked to me, not that anyone normally does and nobody talked ABOUT me either so I had a pretty peaceful day. Lonely too, but so what? I got a book out of the local library because I had again run out of reading material of my own and we weren't allowed to borrow any school library books over the holidays, but other than that, the day was really boring.  
  
Well, it got a little better after supper. Dad called and I got to talk to him. I hadn't talked to him since he had left and I really missed him, but I didn't say anything to him about just how much I had been missing him because I didn't want him to think of me as clinging to him. We talked about school, about what I was planning on doing over the holidays. He said that he wanted to see me, but by the looks of the dig that wouldn't happen for a long while.  
  
I tried my best to sound happy for him, I mean, I know how much he loves Egypt and being on a dig. But I'm only eleven years old. Don't I have the right to want my father around? Don't I have the right to HAVE my father around? He noticed by the sound in my voice that I wasn't being totally truthful when I told him that I was happy for him. And he started in his long lecture about how, back in ancient times (like Egypt) a boy was a man at about ten years of age.  
  
I wanted to remind my father that we were no longer living in ancient times and now that was called child neglect. But he had begun to sound really fed up with me so I told him that I would try harder to grow up. The phone call ended about then because he only had so many minutes to talk to me and most of that call had been wasted on his wonderful rant.  
  
I've been in my room ever since so I won't disturb anyone here. Yugi had Malik staying over and Yami had Kaiba and Tristan. I can hear their laughter coming from the room beside mine.  
  
How I wish that I could be laughing too.  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans.  
  
Oh yeah, and if you wanna know when the fics on my site are updated (just in case something happens with THIS site again) There's an updating mailing list! Warning: it's for like, three or four sites though. . .all Yu Gi Oh though. (Um, with the exception of one Beyblade site. . .)^_^ (You gotta go to the site though ^_^) 


	20. Entry 315

About the short chapters, the story is already done so I can't exactly make the chapters longer, okay?  
  
Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
Also, the poem is mine, it sucks, but it's still mine. It was written specifically for this story in like five minutes, I didn't put much thought into it, hence why it sucks.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 315 - Date: December 23rd, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Alone I stand in the darkness  
  
Alone I stand in the light  
  
Alone I stand in the middle of a crowd  
  
Alone I stand in the middle of a fight.  
  
*  
  
Alone I stand when I'm crying  
  
Alone I stand when I'm not  
  
Alone I stand when I'm smiling  
  
Alone I stand when I can't.  
  
*  
  
Alone I stand here watching  
  
Alone I stand here and think  
  
Alone I stand here waiting  
  
Alone I stand here and sink.  
  
*  
  
I wrote this today when I heard Mr. Motou tell Yami to involve me with his friends. Kaiba was there and said that I wasn't welcome in their group because I was a freak. I had been sitting in the kitchen writing in a small puzzle book and the others were in the living room. Kaiba had purposely said it loud enough so I could hear and they could all see me so they knew I had.  
  
I've come to the conclusion that I will never have friends. I figure I probably did something in my past life so horrific that it has followed me through to this one. With my luck I was probably a tomb robber in ancient Egypt and robbed one of the pharaoh's tombs, putting this curse on me.  
  
While thinking today (like there was much else to do up in my little room) I thought about before moving here, and then after we had moved and all that had happened. I thought of everyone I had met and everyone that had met me. And I realized a few things.  
  
1. No one has actually met me.  
  
Nobody knows anything about me (Okay, except for Yami who obviously knows I know something about Egypt). I've been here for almost four months, and not once has anyone actually talked to me to know who I really am. Sure, there was that incident in Ms. J's class with my essay about myself but I hadn't gone into depth.  
  
2. I've been thinking about bad things.  
  
The other night I had a nightmare about killing myself. I was seeing it out of my own perspective and I was looking up at everyone from inside a grave. Everyone was there, Yami, Kaiba, Mr. Motou, my father and everyone else. But nobody was crying. They had actually looked quite happy, even my father. And ever since that dream I've been having thoughts. Every time I look at a knife I think 'Now is that sharp enough to sting if I slice my wrists open?'  
  
3. Yami Motou is hot.  
  
Yes, you heard me. He's hot. I'm gay, we both know it and I'm not going to deny it. It's not like he'll ever find out right? I probably wouldn't live to see my father if he did. Which, come to think of it might not be so bad considering then I wouldn't have to take the time to actually off myself.  
  
. . .Sorry, bad thoughts again. I've tried my best to keep them out of here because I don't want to totally make this depressing but it's hard when your every thought is dark.  
  
- Ryou  
  
  
  
- - -  
  
I'm being force to advertise:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm  
  
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans.  
  
Oh yeah, and if you wanna know when the fics on my site are updated (just in case something happens with THIS site again) There's an updating mailing list! (which can be found in my author bio) Warning: it's for like, three or four sites though. . .all Yu Gi Oh though. (Um, with the exception of one Beyblade site. . .) ^_^ 


	21. Entry 316

The end!  
  
Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.  
  
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.  
  
Also, the poem is mine, it sucks, but it's still mine. It was written specifically for this story in like five minutes, I didn't put much thought into it, hence why it sucks.  
  
- - -  
  
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 316 - Date: December 24th, 1997 (Age: 11)]  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Oh. My. God.  
  
Yami has been reading my diary. Ever since I moved in with him and his family. But I'm not angry at him for it. He explained everything to me. Maybe I should explain it to you too huh? Well, okay.  
  
I woke up this morning to find a letter on my bed and my diary opened to yesterday's entry. I was a little worried about reading the letter at first because I figured it was from Yami because I can't see Yugi ever going through my things. I don't know much about him, but I've figured that much.  
  
So anyway, I finally opened the letter and I was right, it was from Yami. So I read the letter. And you'll NEVER guess what he said! Okay, I won't make you guess because we'll be here forever, so I'm going to tape the letter onto the next page.  
  
'Dear Ryou,  
  
Yes, I read your diary, but please don't get angry. I did it because there was no other way to find out anything about you. You're always in your room and you don't talk to anyone about anything so I had to go to desperate measures.  
  
I didn't expect to find what I did though, when I read through your book. You seemed like the type who'd be loved by all but when I read about what your friends had done to you I realized how wrong I was. To say that I was surprised about finding out that you were gay would be an understatement, but don't flip out. Nobody's going to beat you up because of it. I'm gay too and the gang doesn't mind.  
  
Seto and Isis have practically been married since kindergarten. Tristan has a crush on Mai, but he's too shy to do anything about it, though Joey (Tristan's best friend/little brother) keeps telling him to go for it. Joey and Tea (I saw that you thought Tea and I had something going) have been together almost six months, though they've been best friends for a lot longer. And then Malik and Yugi just started to explore their sexuality before you moved here.  
  
And I don't hate you. I know that it's hard to believe because we all put up a front with new people, that and Tristan, Joey and Kaiba are just really mean. You just happened to be a little different then the other new people that have come to our school. I'll explain this in a minute, but first I want to say that I'm writing this and not just talking to you because I don't know how to talk to you. Every time I do I end up saying something really stupid and I can tell that I've hurt you before.  
  
Okay, here goes.  
  
Ryou, remember at Halloween? When I asked you why you didn't go out and you said that you didn't have someone to go with? I hope you can consider going out with us next year. And hey, I talked to Mr. Makoto before we left for holidays and he's going to put you back into our class. . .that is if you want to.  
  
Were you really in a coma? I'm sorry that that happened to you and your father doesn't think of you as an infant and just be happy that at least you have a father. I know he's away a lot and you miss him, but he misses you too. You're his only son (at least, you never mentioned having any other siblings) and he wants you to grow up so you can survive.  
  
I usually have no problems with people, but when you're around I feel really weird. It's a good kind of weird though but I don't know if I can explain it. I have totally given off the wrong impression of what I really feel.  
  
I *like* you Ryou.  
  
I know this sounds stupid, I mean, I don't even know you right? Well, you're wrong there. I've watched you. I've noticed little things about you, like how you always have this one lock of hair that is in your eyes. Or how every night at exactly 9:00 you're sitting in your room writing in your diary.  
  
When I found out that you were my Secret Santa I wasn't disgusted. I was shocked. I had been hoping that I'd get you but I figured out of everyone else, that it was next to impossible. And speaking of that. . .I didn't know what to get you, but I do have a present for you now. But you have to wait until midnight tonight.  
  
Is any of this making sense? I'm trying to say one thing, but no matter what words come to mind, they don't make sense. Lemme try again.  
  
I want to be the one you count on.  
  
I want to be the shoulder you cry on.  
  
I want to be the one you talk to.  
  
I want to be the heart you come to.  
  
I want to be the one to wipe your tears  
  
I want to be the one who stops your fears  
  
I want to be the one who makes you smile  
  
I want to be the one.  
  
You are a really good poet. You should find a muse and try to create something happy. Someone as angelic as you shouldn't be having thoughts about hurting yourself and I want to get to know you more. Also, I think you're hot too.  
  
I want to protect you from everything harmful. You have no idea how obsessed I have become with you. Obsessed could be the wrong word to use though. We are totally opposite of each other, I know. Black and white, dark and light.  
  
I want to be with you Ryou Bakura.  
  
Okay, I've said it. If this letter was a waste of time then don't worry about your present tonight, you won't want it. Believe me. But maybe we can still be friends? And if this letter isn't a complete waste of ink then please meet me by the Christmas tree tonight at midnight when Grandpa and Yugi are in bed.  
  
Forever yours,  
  
Yami'  
  
It's about four o'clock in the morning now and I did go see Yami. The room was dark except for the lights on the Christmas tree. He was sitting under it with something wrapped up. I sat beside him and he just handed me the present. I unwrapped it and I found a new diary. This is my last page in this book and I had completely forgotten that I'd need a new one soon. It's a smaller book, but it's thicker and on the front it has a picture of a pyramid sitting in the desert. And by the pyramid there's a boy breaking into it. The thing is, he has white hair.  
  
When I looked up at Yami to say something, probably thank you, I don't remember, he cut me off. He said that he had one more present to give me and he told me to close my eyes. I was hesitant for a second but then closed my eyes.  
  
Oh my god! You're never going to guess! Okay, okay, so it's not that hard to figure out.  
  
Yami kissed me! It was heaven! I've never been kissed before, not on the lips anyway. His lips were so soft and he smelled so good! I hope that it will happen again, but not tonight, it's getting late and I think the light is beginning to bother Yami. . .we moved to his room and are sleeping in his bed.  
  
Don't be sick! I'm only eleven! I know I'm gay, doesn't mean I know the physics of the situation. But Yami promised that someday, he'll teach me. I'll wait for that day. Well, good night diary.  
  
Merry Christmas!  
  
Black and white  
  
Dark and light  
  
Opposite of the other  
  
Made for each other  
  
- Ryou  
  
- - -  
  
FINISHED SEPTEMBER 13TH 2002  
  
Trust me, I know the ending sucked. *pouts* Maybe I'll rewrite it when I find the time and idea. 


End file.
